It's not just thoughts of murder that seem to plague Riverdale in the 1940s. Apparently life is so harsh in this oppressive community that suicide is on everyone's minds.

Archie plans it:



Oh, what terrible tragedy could have led Archie down this path?

Are you sure you want to know?

Really, really sure?

Experiencing a blinding rage may be a typical reaction to what I'm about to tell you.

So it seems in this story Riverdale is having a variant on the Sadie Hawkins Dance and every girl in Riverdale is trying to get Archie to be her date. Naturally Archie can't chose and so contemplates suicide.

My heart just breaks into tiny little pieces thinking how brutal that situation is on poor Archie.

I want to help you if I can. You know, Archie, there's always a chance you might change your mind at the last minute. So let me aid you by tying you down to the tracks. And just in case some train conductor foolishly tries to stop too soon, I'll make sure to drive that train myself.

Of course, these tendencies of Archie's have long been known in the community. Apparently his family has anticipated it for a while, seeing what a ticking time bomb he is.

The setup:



and the pitch:



Amazing how Dad goes right to it, clearly he is no stranger to thoughts of Archie's violent demise.

(In truth Mom was just upset that her baby had shaved for the first time.)

Truly Riverdale in the 1940s was a town who's teens were teetering on the edge of destruction!

While Betty and Veronica are definitely a clear and present danger to the Riverdale community. It is Archie Andrews who is clearly its most dangerous denizen.

A red-headed psychopath whose silver hammer is always at the ready to do some crimes:



Is it a wonder that the townspeople might live in constant fear of him? But luckily Riverdale's finest is armed with a shoot first policy that's the even of dictatorships around the world:



No, no Sgt. Shooty, Too many witnesses. You should just follow him as he drives off with the body:



Gheesh, look at him. 1940s Archie is just plain scary. He looks like every movie and TV ventriloquist's dummy that ever went on a murder spree. No wonder Riverdale's police have a special Archie Squad.



Maybe, just maybe. An actual trial would cost the taxpayers valuable money. And after all, it's not possible there's some comedic misunderstanding here...

Next Time: The wackiness of ending it all!

One of the things that surprised me the most about Archie comics in the 1940s was the surprising themes of violence in the humor. In later years you'd see plenty of panels that could be interpreted as innocent or being sex references when seen through a mind with twisted sense of humor.

But in the Archie stuff in the 1940s misunderstandings about pretty gruesome violence happen a surprising amount of the time. I've got to admit that there I times when I just sit back and think, "Wow I can't believe they did that!" And quite often there is an air of danger or at least some unspoken fear that makes the other characters often suspect the most dangerous things of Archie and the gang. Which is especially interesting given that Riverdale is meant to be a relatively small town where many people know each other.

But let's ease into that by starting with the Femme Fatales of Riverdale - Betty and Veronica.

Veronica wasn't always the somewhat bratty but harmless character we later see her as being. In the 1940s she was much more clearly the almost dangerous woman you'd see in crime dramas:



I mean seriously look at her we're talking way more like Barbara Stanwyck in Double Indemnity (1944) than the Veronica we meet later. I say this as a Betty man, 1940s Veronica is just plain smoking hot!

Still not convinced, check out her pose her and her line:



1940s Veronica was the flame and all men were moths flying to their doom.

Now, let's take up the case of Betty, the good girl next door. But even her teachers fear the dangerous killer that lurks beneath her friendly exterior:



Look at it, Ms. Grundy is cowering in fear of Betty as Betty walks in the room. But that's just the setup. Here's the payoff:



Jeepers, clearly the teachers of Riverdale High School live in fear of explosions of violence by their students!

(In case you were worried Betty was just killing a mean ole spider that had crawled on a manikin. Whew!)

Next time: the dangerous psychopath that is Archie and his games of cat and mouse with the trigger happy police force of Riverdale!

Sadly, Johnny Sokko and his Flying Robot have been left beaten and humiliated in their fight against Mondays.

So they're going to have to take a rest, but before they left they tagged in a great champion of the oppressed. The righter of wrongs - the robot who can take Mondays down!

Astro Boy!

Sadly the video link is not from the original series from the 1960s but one of the later re-makes. Still it is lots of fun - and sorry non-US folks the video won't play for you.

Episode 1: Power Up!


Astro just rocks. When I was a little boy I used to rip the feet off my GI Joe dolls... I mean ACTION FIGURES...so I could fly them around like Astro Boy.

BTW if you're hankering for more Johnny Sokko - you can buy episodes via iTunes or Amazon Unbox or watch them on-line with your Netflix membership at the Netflix website.

Avatar: Gamera who digs Astro's flames out of his legs!

There's been talk about and uninformed accusations concerning whether Hillary is a monster.

Sadly most of those flinging that sort of talk around are woefully unqualified to express such opinions. They are all blinded by their own political agendas and lack the requisite expertise to help decide the question.

So as a service I decided to consult a variety of experts.

First the dreaded Robot Monster from the film of the same name Robot Monster (1953):


I'm sorry to interrupt you while you are clearly so busy, but Robot Monster is Hillary a monster?

Robot Monster: "Please. Does she have the body of a gorilla and a terrifying spaceman helmet like me?

Um, not really. She looks like a ordinary human woman.

Robot Monster: "Well, what's terrifying about that? I don't really follow earth politics, but if this Hil-la-ry wants to be a monster she's just going to have to work a whole lot harder. There's no room for amateurs in this highly competitive field."

Well, sounds like a no vote from Robot Monster.

Next up one of the more terrifying races of monsters the Daleks:


Excuse me, Daleks, is Hillary a monster?

Daleks: "The Daleks are the Supreme Race of the Universe. All will serve the Daleks! You will obey us! Obey! Obey!"

Um, but what about Hillary?

Daleks:" If she does not obey the Daleks she will be exterminated. Exterminate! Exterminate!"

The Daleks weren't too helpful. But they did sound awfully like the last debate. So we'll call that a maybe.

Now we turn to the TV celebrity Cookie Monster:


Cookie Monster is Hillary a monster?

Cookie Monster: "Cookies?!?"

Well, I believe she talked about baking cookies but she didn't sound in favor of it.

Cookie Monster: "She don't like cookies?"

I don't know if she ever said either way. I suppose she's neutral about cookies.

Cookie Monster: "Me no trust people who don't love cookies. She bring me cookies?"

No, I don't think so.

Cookie Monster: "NO COOKIES! She talk about cookies, but no make or bring me cookies? She a monster!"

That's a yes from the Cookie Monster.

Our next expert is the star and co-star of numerous monster movies, Rodan:


Mr. Rodan it is an honor. I've been a fan of your work all my life.

Rodan: "Why thank you. It's great to be here."

So is Hillary a monster?

Rodan: "That's completely absurd. She can't even be 6 feet tall. She doesn't fly, have deadly breath or eye beams. No claws or tail either. I've know monsters, some of my best friends are monsters. Hillary is no monster."

A definite no from Rodan.

Finally, we consult noted monster experts, the Scooby Doo Gang:


Scoobies, is Hillary a monster?

Scooby Doo Gang: "Well, generally when we are called to investigate monsters, it turns out to be someone wearing a mask. An escaped convict, the grounds keeper, etc. Sometimes it is Don Knotts. Has anyone tried to pull off her mask to see?"

I don't think anyone has tried.

Scooby Doo Gang: "There you go. I bet it turns out she's not a monster and just Don Knotts."

So that's a probably not from the Scoobies.

There you have it people, Hillary doesn't sound like a monster according to our panel of experts.

So can we move on to actual issues?

Avatar: Gamera. Who knows real monsters!

No time to post much today. I've been saving the Democratic Party.

I lure a group of Bat Shit Insane Obama Supporters and a group Bat Shit Insane Clinton Supporters into a room. Lock them in. Let nature take its course.

Eventually we will be down to a reasonable group of Obama and Clinton supporters capable of supporting their own candidate while recognizing their flaws, while at the same time choosing not to support the other candidate but still being respectful of that candidate and their supporters.

As you may guess, this will take a while.

If only I was fast like:

The Flash!!!

and had a sidekick who'd help me:


tackle bad guys.

Then I'd have time to post more.

So I've been watching the primaries and seeing how close the race seems to be.

I've seen the polls saying that the vast majority of Democrats will support Senator Clinton or Senator Obama if either was the Democratic candidate in the general election.

Yet on Democratic Underground I see a vocal minority who scream:

• I support Obama and I will only support the Democrats if he gets the nomination
• I support Clinton and I will only support the Democrats if she gets the nomination

I wondered why can't we have it all.  I had a few drinks, pondered things and then I had an inspiration. 

I lured Senators Clinton and Obama to my apartment with offers of large campaign donations and free back waxing.

Got them drunk and proceeded with my plan.

I give you:



On to victory in 2008!

Next I'm thinking of putting Dennis Kucinich's brain into Selma Hayek's body as a possible running mate.  Now that's electable!

Avatar: Bugs is still undecided about the whole thing.

Ah, the classic romance comics for "women" in the 40s - 60s.

So silly, so easy to mock. 

But I always wondered, yeah it's pretty obvious they were often written by men, but a lot of time it just really seems they were written to cater to male readers and not female readers.

I just have problems thinking this is what women would really want to read about.

Example 1: Exotic Romances Issue no 24


Yeah, two women are fighting over one man.  And they are SISTERS!

Tell me this isn't really aimed at men and male fantasies.

Look at where his hands are and his expression.  The dude is so composing a letter in his head:

"Dear Penthouse Forum:  Little did I dream....."

Example 2:  Love Lessons Issue 1


Hot young, barely legal blond in "love" with a middle aged man. 

Nope, nothing to see here.  Not a thing that would appeal more to the the fantasies of middle aged men. 

But I really think they missed something.  If only she was wearing a cheerleader uniform on the cover, then you'd dirty old men perfection.

Example 3:  Girls' Love Stories Issue 27


Nothing like women fighting over the ultimate prize the right to marry a man.  Because the right to wear a wedding dress clearly establishes who's the alpha female. 

I am kind of curious how this works in the writer's view of things...

Man:  You wenches better dance well enough to entertain us or there will be no wedding dresses for you!

Women:  Yes Master.

Beyond the power of the Wedding Dress!

Avatar:  Yao from Miami Guns.  Who knows exactly how to deal with this sort of thing - in a measured and appropriate manner.

You know I complain about Mondays and how bad they are.

But my apartmentmate's cat is going to have it worse today. This morning a happy, energetic playful cat. Little does he know that today is snip-snip day.

Mondays only make me feel like a eunuch by the end of day, today he'll actually be one.

Of course, Johnny Sokko and his Flying Robot (1969) knows nothing of these things.

But surely you can offer even the poor little kitty some solace with:

Episode 6: Transformed Humans

Wait a second wasn't Dr. Botanus killed in the last episode? Gosh, you don't suppose the US adapters didn't bother to put the episodes in the correct order? For shame!

Avatar: Rodan, ain't no eunuchs in the monster ranks! All, manly men! Well, except Godzuki....

And since 75 years is enough to garner two posts, I'm going forward with it by posting a couple of Doc Savage related videos.

First up a 2 minute documentary about Lester Dent the creator of Doc Savage:

Yes, I know he wasn't Steinbeck but still to turn out that much writing a month is pretty darn impressive.

But I have a weakness for the pulp writers anyway.

Next a promo for the Doc Savage movie with Ron Ely:


Man that is making me wish it was on DVD. Yeah, not a good movie, but still kind of silly fun.

Next the comic fight scene from the movie with Doc versus the Captain:


note how Doc demonstrates his mastery of all the fighting arts.

Finally, where would we be without THE SPEECH!


Superman, doesn't have a speech. Batman doesn't have a speech.

Avatar: The Hoff. Who has a speech, but he mimes it.